The Great Divide

This weekend was a myriad of uneasy emotions.

While I would like to share my thoughts on this weekend's attacks - I shall refrain.  Not because I don't have something to say but rather I can't summon the strength or heart to do so.  Many have already voiced their opinions, took to social media, made these opinions viral and few have caused uproar.  It is here, on this blog that I will remain silent on such a heavy topic and instead voice my opinion on what transpired this past Friday the 13th.

It was an interesting evening that spontaneously landed my friends and I at The Citizen, a hot spot for twenty-somethings in Toronto.  I am a twenty-something.  But it was here, I realized that there is a the great divide between the "barely-twenty-somethings" and the "we're-not-gonna-question-your-age-because-you-are-most-certainly-above-21-somethings".

Here are the biggest tells that you are TOTALLY over the age of 25:

1. You wait longer in line - because your friend that used to promote at the club has since settled down and popped out a few kids.  Which reminds you that you should send him and his wife a Congrats on the new addition! message on Facebook.
2. You're wearing a coat and probably a scarf - because it's NOVEMBER dammit and you are too wise and too successful to skimp on the coat check.   Hypothermia can be avoided for the low cost of $3.
3. You're laughing at those wearing five-inch heels - because you know your bunions are going to feel it the next day.
4. You buy your own drinks - because $7 for a vodka soda is worth the sanity of knowing you don't have to strike up a dry convo with a random boy to buy them for you.
5. You live for the #Waybacks - Who is Ariana Grande?  No no no, toss me some Ashanti. STAT!
6. "Getting Low" is a thing of the past - The last time my ass touched a dance floor was in Vegas.  The only thing I'll bend over for now is to pickup my Blistex lip balm that fell out of my Mom-sized purse.
7. You frown upon The DFMO - Okay, I lied a little.  I was slightly envious of those engaging in a hot Dance-Floor-Make-Out.  It brought back feelings of nostalgia.  Giving a fake name, putting on a fake accent, then spending the night lips locked with a stranger.  UGH, good times.  But either way, you know that this whole charade is tacky and can't be done.  Mainly because you're old and you can't wheel like you used to because of well, all of above.
8. You don't wait until the lights come on to leave the club - because you're one long yawn away from locking your jaw.
9. Someone in your group is on a cleanse (or has yoga in the morning) and is therefore the DD - On Friday, it was me.  And no, I won't be having carbs until Christmas.
10. The next morning is T-U-F-F - even though you had one Jäger shot and a vodka soda, you miss your yoga class and opt for a heaping bowl of Corn Pops while watching Netflix at noon.

Despite the above, I feel better about my nightlife choices.  It helps me sleep better at night.  Since, you know, I actually go to bed when it's still considered "nighttime" these days.