Looking for Zest Less Bitter than a Lemon

I've been a little sluggish lately. A bit down on myself. Discouraged. Listless. I won't go as so far as to deem myself depressed because it's not that serious. 

However I'm in a rut. And I'm sure most millennials can relate. You see, since the lay off I've been working 4-5 days a week as a server. It's been extremely helpful in keeping me financially afloat and I'm nothing but grateful for it. However, my colleagues are young and hip and full of zest. A vigor I've lost in only a few years. I feel significantly aged, but unlike a fine wine, this doesn't go down smoothly with me. 

Since I'm working most nights and my friends aren't on the same schedule, I find my alone time to be quite methodically dull. I wake up around 10am, make myself an omelette and avocado toast. Enjoy an Americano misto (my own recipe I've come to prefer over the Starbucks version). Spend a few hours applying for jobs, trolling social media sites or reading a book. Head to the gym. Make myself a lunch after a good sweat. Shower. Meal prep and head back to work. 

Something is missing. I don't know what. I've been bitten by a travel bug, and the itch is incessant. I need to go somewhere, do something out of this norm to finally break this funk. 

What is unbearably tough to deal with is that I wanted nothing more than the time to travel when I was working full time at a desk and now that I have it I can't seem to get my cellulite-wraught bum to book it. My fave travel companion is occupied on a teacher LTO likely until the end of the school year. And then I question if I should just go alone? Like an Eat Pray Love excursion of my own?  If Elizabeth Gilbert can do it, why can't I?

But is that the answer? Will that be enough of a jolt of juvanescence I'm looking for? 

Time will tell, and the harsh effects of it will be all the more telling by my growing crows feet. 

My Ten Tips to help you Make/Save Money

I've now been funemployed for a little over three months.  By this I mean, I have been working about 30 hours per week as a server, but still, not something I'm considering pursuing as my career choice.  Thus, I am employed but not passionately so.

With some extra daylight hours on my hands, I have become SUPER thrifty and resourceful. And whether or not you are funemployed, the following are great ways I have found to make you a few extra bucks.

1. Sell to Consignment Stores - I am fortunate enough to live close to a Plato's Closet which buys and sells gently used brand name clothing for young women and men.  They appraise your clothing and accessories, taking only what they want, and offer you money on the spot.  It's typically not much per item, however, if you were planning on giving it away anyway, might as well see what you can get it for it first!  If they don't accept it, then consider donating to Value Village or handing it down to a younger family or friend in need.  
2. Post larger/more worthy items on Kijiji - A consignment store is great for certain items, but when it comes to furniture or tech items - use Kijiji or other apps like Varage Sale.  It's super simple!  Take a few pics, post the items, and watch them go!  I posted all of the jewellery from exes, Coach purses, a few watches (my dainty wrists can't handle), an old bed frame. Not gonna lie I've made over $300 from Kijiji.  
3. Look into community garage sales - Check your local community's website to see if/when they are hosting a community garage sale.  What's great about these is that you already have the foot traffic and it's typically hosted within a community centre so you don't need to worry about the weather.  They also typically arrange for pickup trucks to come by to take whatever items don't sell - so you don't need to haul everything back home!
4. Call around for better deals on contracts - I am a ten-year loyal Fido customer, but every so often I like to call to see what they can offer me.  I pay for my father's not-so-smart flip phone that he strictly uses for phone calls (the man can't text for his life).  So when I called most recently, the nice woman at Fido provided him with an additional few features for free and $5 off my next six bills. HAY!  I also called my car insurance provider to see why my premium had increased, to which they explained that I was paying for a particular endorsement I didn't even know I had.  After doing some thinking and research I decided I didn't need the endorsement so I called back to remove it.  And BOOM! Just saved myself $49 per month.
5. Flipp before you shop! - Apps like Flipp were designed to help you find the best bang for your buck so be sure to use these resources when you can!  Also, if a non-perishable item that is on sale, that you might not need at that moment, but will most definitely need in a month or so - buy it then!  (Think items like toilet paper, shampoo, toothpaste, etc).  This way you're not paying full price when you're in desperate need.  I love my Shoppers Optimum app for this reason, they personalize my offers so I rack up the savings and the points every time I shop.
6. Get your groceries done early - I have recently started a meal plan by which I need to eat a great deal of protein.  But, with the rising costs of meat and produce, it's putting a huge dent in my wallet and my goals.  My mom told me however, that if you visit the grocery store in the early mornings they will have "Quick Sell" items (like chicken or ground turkey) for up to 50% off.  If you're intending to cook them the same day, this is a dream!  Also be sure to check the reduced produce for salvageable veggies and fruit you can use to make salads or soups!
7. Make Groupon your third wheel - Dating is hard when you're broke.  But sites like Groupon or Travelzoo can make date nights (even with friends) fun and interesting.  Most recently, my friend and I went ceramic painting and made adorable soup mugs for $20 each.  Sure beats booth and bottle service!
8. Find free places in your area to explore for fun and inspiration - There are so many articles on sites like BlogTO that list where you can find free and/or cheap places to visit in your city.  Whether you are passing the time there solo or with a friend, it could spark an interest in something you've never thought you had!
9. Sign up to do online surveys or focus groups - My friends got me into this and it's such quick cash it's hard to pass up on these opportunities.  Since you have some time on your hands, you can do a focus group during the day which tend to pay more for your time.  
10. (Actually) Keep track of your finances - Start off with writing down your necessary payments (car, insurance, cell phone, etc), then write your incidentals.  The incidentals will vary per month, naturally, however, when you witness it all written down you can take note of what you can cut down on.  Like grande non-fat Americano mistos for example.
11. BONUS: Don't be afraid of doing odd jobs - I recently signed up with Upwork - a site designed to connect creative freelancers to contractual jobs.  It's amazing how much is out there if you're willing to work!  I intend to apply for some jobs just to keep my skills fresh until I find something more permanent.  It's great for resume building.  Plus! You can do most of them from the comfort of your own home (and pjs).

Remember a penny saved is a penny earned! Unless you're Canadian, in which case pennies don't even exist anymore.  So...um, I'll just say GOOD LUCK instead.

There is Nothing Minimal about Minimizing

I adore YouTube vloggers.  They're ridiculously inspiring.  And you wouldn't think so because I tend to watch their glamorous lives whilst I sit in my pyjamas at 1pm on a Tuesday.  But after watching the tenth 12-minute January Favourites video - I can start my day with a zest and fervour I didn't have before.

One particular vlogger I'm into right now is Rachel Aust.  She's a beautiful Aussie with a kick ass pad and a smoking bod.  A triple threat, if you will.  But one of the most inspiring things she regularly posts about is a Minimalist Lifestyle and how to achieve simplicity.

I'm a hoarder (ish).  I keep memories in a box including ticket stubs from dates with my first  boyfriend, friendship bracelets donned in grade three that had withered off my wrists, fortune cookie fates I always expected to come true.  I keep sweaters that make me look like a box because they're good for cottage campfires.  But I don't own a cottage and rarely sing Kumbaya around a bonfire pit.  I keep dresses that I think are "classic" but every trend has an expiration date.  Until that is, they come back in style  -  like those ridiculous plastic neck chokers I used to rock in grade seven.

Nevertheless, I am embarking on a new mission of Culling. (Very different than our fave vampire fam). Culling by definition means to to gather the choice things or parts from. Rachel Aust swears by this in her minimalist mantra. In fact, she made an easy (but not so easy) Challenge that will have you living a minimalist lifestyle in just two months! Bless her.

With my hoarding behaviours however, this will likely take two years. But first, I'm going to start with my closet - anyone in need of a pair of acid washed bell bottoms?

Montreal on my Mind

It's January. And that means my heart lies in one place - Montreal. 

Sure, it's -25C with the wind chill. But I've got the love of Jack Daniels and deep house to keep me warm. If y'all don't know about Igloofest - you're severely missing out. 

You see, for three weekends beginning January 14th, Old Port fills up with youth in revolt-ing ski wear looking for a party. Terrace Bonesecours delivers a mix of incredible deep house DJs, ice sculpted bars and snow slides. Yes, it's outdoors - but guzzle down the shots and stay close to your friends because it sure is one helluva party. 

For now, I must get back to #4 on my New Years resolution list to read at least one book each month. 

A bientot mes amis!

The Great Divide

This weekend was a myriad of uneasy emotions.

While I would like to share my thoughts on this weekend's attacks - I shall refrain.  Not because I don't have something to say but rather I can't summon the strength or heart to do so.  Many have already voiced their opinions, took to social media, made these opinions viral and few have caused uproar.  It is here, on this blog that I will remain silent on such a heavy topic and instead voice my opinion on what transpired this past Friday the 13th.

It was an interesting evening that spontaneously landed my friends and I at The Citizen, a hot spot for twenty-somethings in Toronto.  I am a twenty-something.  But it was here, I realized that there is a the great divide between the "barely-twenty-somethings" and the "we're-not-gonna-question-your-age-because-you-are-most-certainly-above-21-somethings".

Here are the biggest tells that you are TOTALLY over the age of 25:

1. You wait longer in line - because your friend that used to promote at the club has since settled down and popped out a few kids.  Which reminds you that you should send him and his wife a Congrats on the new addition! message on Facebook.
2. You're wearing a coat and probably a scarf - because it's NOVEMBER dammit and you are too wise and too successful to skimp on the coat check.   Hypothermia can be avoided for the low cost of $3.
3. You're laughing at those wearing five-inch heels - because you know your bunions are going to feel it the next day.
4. You buy your own drinks - because $7 for a vodka soda is worth the sanity of knowing you don't have to strike up a dry convo with a random boy to buy them for you.
5. You live for the #Waybacks - Who is Ariana Grande?  No no no, toss me some Ashanti. STAT!
6. "Getting Low" is a thing of the past - The last time my ass touched a dance floor was in Vegas.  The only thing I'll bend over for now is to pickup my Blistex lip balm that fell out of my Mom-sized purse.
7. You frown upon The DFMO - Okay, I lied a little.  I was slightly envious of those engaging in a hot Dance-Floor-Make-Out.  It brought back feelings of nostalgia.  Giving a fake name, putting on a fake accent, then spending the night lips locked with a stranger.  UGH, good times.  But either way, you know that this whole charade is tacky and can't be done.  Mainly because you're old and you can't wheel like you used to because of well, all of above.
8. You don't wait until the lights come on to leave the club - because you're one long yawn away from locking your jaw.
9. Someone in your group is on a cleanse (or has yoga in the morning) and is therefore the DD - On Friday, it was me.  And no, I won't be having carbs until Christmas.
10. The next morning is T-U-F-F - even though you had one Jäger shot and a vodka soda, you miss your yoga class and opt for a heaping bowl of Corn Pops while watching Netflix at noon.

Despite the above, I feel better about my nightlife choices.  It helps me sleep better at night.  Since, you know, I actually go to bed when it's still considered "nighttime" these days.

Unfriending

With all this spare time on my hands, I've been cleaning out my life.  Ridding all the toxins, dirt, dust, grime from it.  This includes cleaning my closet, the basement, the garage, my car trunk, my hair tools drawer (that was an effing feat), and most importantly my social media audiences.

Over the past nine years I have accumulated many "friends"- yet it's becoming increasingly evident that I have maybe five, on a good day - like...my birthday.  So how is it that 400+ people care about my life?  Or better yet, have I ever really cared that much about theirs?

I decided to clear the acquaintance clutter and Unfriend some people on Facebook (and unfollow a few on Instagram).  But it was much harder than I thought.  You see, when your unemployed your mind can't help but think "Shit, they have a good job - what if I need a referral?" or "She still owes me from that thing with the guy in that place - bitch better not forget it either!"

To help, I devised a fool proof categorization process that you too can use to finally rid of your odd accumulation of friendship trysts.

KEEP:

1. Family - this includes your weird cousin Josh who used to eat his boogers.  Because nothing is weirder than a baptism where little Joshy causes a scene on why he didn't get the invite to your backyard BBQ.
2. BFFs -  as in the people that you share cute puppy videos with or tag in crazy girlfriend Vine vids.  Or better yet, are the ones Facebook alerts you with when you have a Friendaversary.  Nothing says love like a 4 year friend connection.
3. Current Co-workers - even if you hate them.  They've added you, you added them back.  No time to be petty about it.  If nothing else, change your post settings so that they don't like any of your recent posts only to use it as content for a lunch time conversation starter. 
4. Your crushes from elementary and high school - It's good for them to know how good you're looking these days.  Also equally important for you to note who they're dating, if they're losing their hair, if they gained weight, or knocked somebody up.  These prompts can really put a pep in your step on an otherwise grim Monday.
5. Frenemies from elementary and high school - The Regina George of my high school had a real fall from grace after graduation. While her status posts are annoying to see in my timeline, it's satisfying to see that her mom was the only to Like that she was YYZ ---> LAX'ing.

REMOVE:

1. Deactivated accounts - the staggering number of Facebook avatar icons was somewhat of a blessing in disguise.  Whether they had deactivated their accounts or blocked me - I was able to say toodles to a ton of people without feeling bad.
2. Your exes - They should be treated more like "Y's" as in Why would I do that?  Although, had I deleted my elementary school ex three years ago, I wouldn't have been able to creep him incessantly until I finally mustered up the courage to ask him out.  
3. Your exes family - their blood runs thicker than your Vitamin Water sweetie, they've gotta go.
4. Anyone with purposefully misspelled names - they're obvious morons and you'll be severely judged by future employers if you're deemed Close Friends with "Papi Chu-Lowe"
5. Anyone who posts regularly about socio-economic, religious and/or political issues - it's exhausting and since you're likely NOT a foreign correspondent for CNN - you can get your news elsewhere.
6. Anyone who posts wannabe inspirational quotes - Double unfriend if it's accompanied by a pic of them in a bikini doing a Peace sign.  I'm sure the Dalai Lama would be so impressed by your preaching in a Vic Secret outfit.
7. Anyone who invites you to play Candy Crush on the daily - tell them to shove their requests up Mr. Toffee's ass.
8. Your group mates from college - I had three young chaps that I only ever messaged when I needed notes from classes I slept through due to a Malibu-induced hangover.  Thanks boys for helping me score an 83% in Bio!

IT'S REALLY YOUR CALL:

1. Your former co-workers - I love all of mine and I also never left a job on terribly bad terms.
2. An ex boy/girl toy - Would you EVER consider shamelessly using them for their body again? 
3. A really annoying superior that doesn't really know their way around a hashtag - but how extensive is their network?
4. Drunken Party Friend Adds - these are only worthy should these people have hookups to exclusive events.  But good on you for being coherent enough to search them up while mildly intoxicated!

Happy unfriending m'loves!

To Gym or Not to Gym

If one good thing has come out of this being "funemployed" thing - it's that I can hit the gym any time I want.

WAIT! Don't go.  I promise I am the antithesis of gymrat-chet.  In fact, this is an image of me at the gym earlier today:

I workout to eat.  And being a half-Italian, half-Greek mutt I do A LOT of eating.  Thus, homegirl needs to hit the gym at a minimum five times each week.  That's aggressive, yes.  Impossible, basically.  But not now!  HAAAYYYY!  

It's like this new found freedom that I have literally NO WHERE to be but glued to a Stairmaster.  I can catch up on episodes of Dr. Phil, talk to Mary about her kids, sip mint flavoured water out of my Arbonne infuser bottle and wear my squeaky orthotics in stride. So I might be slowly morphing into a stay-at-home mom.  Except I don't have the tough job of molding the lives of youth.  Which means I can return home to watch episodes of New Girl until I slip into a spin-class-induced coma.

And not to fret, I don't intend to get fit - my metabolism has slowed to the point of no return.  So yes, I'll be having the large bag of popcorn at the theatre tonight because dammit, my sore bunions have earned it.