I've been a little sluggish lately. A bit down on myself. Discouraged. Listless. I won't go as so far as to deem myself depressed because it's not that serious.
However I'm in a rut. And I'm sure most millennials can relate. You see, since the lay off I've been working 4-5 days a week as a server. It's been extremely helpful in keeping me financially afloat and I'm nothing but grateful for it. However, my colleagues are young and hip and full of zest. A vigor I've lost in only a few years. I feel significantly aged, but unlike a fine wine, this doesn't go down smoothly with me.
Since I'm working most nights and my friends aren't on the same schedule, I find my alone time to be quite methodically dull. I wake up around 10am, make myself an omelette and avocado toast. Enjoy an Americano misto (my own recipe I've come to prefer over the Starbucks version). Spend a few hours applying for jobs, trolling social media sites or reading a book. Head to the gym. Make myself a lunch after a good sweat. Shower. Meal prep and head back to work.
Something is missing. I don't know what. I've been bitten by a travel bug, and the itch is incessant. I need to go somewhere, do something out of this norm to finally break this funk.
What is unbearably tough to deal with is that I wanted nothing more than the time to travel when I was working full time at a desk and now that I have it I can't seem to get my cellulite-wraught bum to book it. My fave travel companion is occupied on a teacher LTO likely until the end of the school year. And then I question if I should just go alone? Like an Eat Pray Love excursion of my own? If Elizabeth Gilbert can do it, why can't I?
But is that the answer? Will that be enough of a jolt of juvanescence I'm looking for?
Time will tell, and the harsh effects of it will be all the more telling by my growing crows feet.
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